dating in the time of Corona

I’m not doing it.

End of blog.

Just kidding. Let’s discuss.

When I thought the restaurant/bar closings, instructions to stay at home, and warnings against close contact with others would last several weeks to a month, dating was something I was happy to put on hold. I didn’t see the point. The idea of spending significant time communicating before meeting, as would have to be the case right now, leaves me cold. Before I am vested in someone—something that doesn’t happen until we meet—I find texting or talking on the phone with them to be boring and time consuming with no guarantee of an ROI. Many enjoy this aspect of dating, but I try to keep it to a few exchanges back and forth to give me some indication of whether we click and, if so, make a date to meet face-to face. I typically don’t rule out giving it one in-person date if the first text exchange or phone call is “blah,” because you never know what kind of chemistry can spark in person, but I prefer to leave it at one phone call/handful of texts. I didn’t enjoy the banter with the guy I was talking to at the beginning of all this enough to continue knowing it would be a long time before we could meet so I let the communication drop off…as one does…and haven’t bothered with the app since.

I regularly receive emails from Meetup groups about virtual singles events they are hosting. So far, I have deleted them all without reading. Now, two months in and with no clear end in sight, I’m starting to wonder if I should reconsider attending these virtual events. Unlike talking on the phone or texting, I will actually “see” these men—their facial expressions and how they react to me in the moment—which may be enough to determine if there’s in-person chemistry. And maybe it could lead to sitting six feet apart at a park with a mask between us for a “real” date of sorts even if that’s as far as it can go. (I’m not risking my life to get naked with anyone right now…) I just don’t know. Not to mention, I haven’t had my hair done, worn makeup, or dressed up in months. I prefer to look my best on dates. Do I have it in me to make the effort?

I’m torn. Am I wasting this chunk of time…this opportunity…to truly get to know someone without the pressure of taking things to another level? The casual nature of dating these days (before the virus) is something I’ve never been comfortable with. This could actually be a perfect time to meet someone, and I have way more time on my hands than normal. Then again, wherever (or whenever) you go there you are. Douchebags will be douchebags even in the time of Corona. Do I want to add dating stress on top of all the other havoc this virus has wreaked on my mental state?

What do you guys think? Should I go for it? Are any of you “dating” right now? Care to share your experiences? Let me know in the comments!

I will not be posting tomorrow or over the weekend, but I will see you back here on Monday. Happy Weekend everyone, and stay safe!

Comments

  1. Lori Reiss says:

    Hey Meredith! I’ve been doing online dating. For me, it was a way to meet new people with nothing to lose. I could talk on the phones when I would otherwise be on my phone or watching tv. There was nothing vested- only time while there’s not much else to do. I think it’s interesting to try dating like this. We never get to know someone before going out and having a physical relationship. I did talk to someone for about a month but then I ended it. I’ve talked to a few others as well. I say do it. What do you have to lose?

    • I do feel that way about getting to know someone first. I worry about guys who talking to me just to pass the time with no interest in ever meeting later, but I guess it is a risk you have to take. I’d probably try the virtual events first and if I “meet” someone, take it from there. Thank you! Good luck 🙂

  2. I have no interest in it. My job is twice as stressful now than normal, I don’t have the energy to play the numbers game. I don’t like playing the numbers game under normal circumstances. I get that it gives people time to get to know each other virtually but I take my time getting to know someone anyway. Plus there’s no guarantee that because it’s a good time to try to meet someone that you meet someone. I believe it happens when it’s supposed to, regardless of any steps we take or don’t take. At the end of the day, do what feels right and comfortable to you 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: