I will never stop.

Today marks the four-year anniversary of the day I lost my best friend, Alan, to cancer.

July has been hard for me since he’s been gone. The long Fourth of July weekend has become less about day drinking and fireworks than it is a reminder of the day I spent getting drunk with a friend at the Seaport blissfully ignorant to the fact that Alan was on his death bed and I’d never see or speak to him again. During this month, the anger returns (why him?), the memories are more vivid, the sadness deeper.

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There are people I can talk to freely about this—others who loved Alan, folks who have also lost someone they truly loved and “get” it, and people who simply love me and hurt when I hurt.

Still, there are others who probably don’t get it. People who change the subject each time I bring up his name, as if the fact that I still miss the man after four years means something is wrong with me. Maybe they think there is a timeline for grieving and I’ve surpassed it; that our friendship had its time and should be put to rest like he was.

I don’t think these people mean me any harm, but it’s something I simply cannot do. I will always remember Alan as someone who truly made my life better. I will recall the day he died as one of the worst days of my life. (THE worst so far, if I’m being honest.) I will forever wonder what he’d say/do/think about the things I say/do/think. I’ll never stop laughing when I think of an inside joke we shared. I’ll never stop thinking of him whenever the clock says 10:27 (his birthday).  I will forever include him in the acknowledgements of my books. I will keep changing my profile picture on his birthday and the anniversary of his death. I will cry every July 8th and October 27th and whenever I watch The Long Island Medium or the subject of Leukemia comes up. I will never EVER forget him, stop cherishing the role he had in my life, or cease finding reasons to mention him in conversation. It’s my way of keeping him alive.

If you don’t like it, my advice to you: get ear plugs.

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The Paris Theater

If you’ve read my books, you’ve probably noticed that there’s at least one reference to Sex and the City in most of them. It’s not a “thing” I do or even a conscious decision. I think it’s because the majority of my heroines have been single New Yorkers. Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha are iconic single New Yorkers who experienced quite the dating life. They also exchanged some of the wittiest banter on television, in my opinion.

When my friend, Lily, asked if I wanted to see The Seagull at The Paris Theater with a couple of her friends, I initially said yes because I was impressed with the cast, including Annette Benning, Elizabeth Moss, Brian Dennehy, and Michael Zegen (from my favorite show, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime). Then she reminded me that, in one episode of SATC, Carrie went to The Paris Theater and mused that “the most amazing thing about living in a city like New York is that any night of the week you can go to Paris.” After living in Manhattan for more than fifteen years, I’ve made it to many of the venues frequented in the show, by not The Paris Theater. I was in!

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So, this past weekend, four of us (Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha, and Miranda—kidding!) met for a quick dinner at the food court in the Plaza Hotel, followed by a trip to the Eloise store, before heading over to the theater for the movie. We sat in the first row of the balcony. It would have been very romantic if we were on a date, but we weren’t so…we just enjoyed our popcorn (or I enjoyed mine, since I was the only one incapable of sitting through a movie sans popcorn despite having just eaten a delicious gluten-free lobster roll and a bag of chips.)

About the movie: It was very well acted, very humorous at times, but not at all uplifting, which is fine. The books I write need happily-ever-afters, but not necessarily the films I watch. I especially enjoyed that one of the main characters was a novelist. Here is a snippet from his monologue about the “curse” of being a novelist:

Day and night I am held in the grip of one besetting thought, to write, write, write! Hardly have I finished one book than something urges me to write another, and then a third, and then a fourth–I write ceaselessly. I am, as it were, on a treadmill. I hurry forever from one story to another, and can’t help myself.

Boy, could I relate!

About the theater: In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen quite a few movies in big multiplex theaters where the seats recline, but I’ll take the glamorous, old-school, single-screen theater of The Paris Theater any day of the week. And the cool spiral staircase that led from the lobby to the balcony was pretty cool too! Although I didn’t really feel like I was in Paris, I felt a special fondness for New York City, Sex and the City, and my own fabulous girlfriends.

I wish I’d had the forethought to take more pictures. But if you’re a New Yorker or just visiting and want to channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw, or simply escape the masses of the AMCs and Loews of the island, definitely check out The Plaza Theater!

 

worry wart

I had a ninety-minute full-body massage on Saturday. It was wonderful, but it took me a little while to fully relax. Until that happened (probably around the forty-five minute mark…) my mind wandered. I thought about the lunch and drinks I’d have with my friend after the massage. I thought about the hair cut I […]

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My thoughts on Book Club

I saw Book Club this weekend. As a writer and a voracious reader, a movie about a book club is immediately appealing to me. Throw in some of my favorite actresses, like Diane Keaton and Jane Fonda, and no additional incentive is required. That being said, I do have my own issues with aging, especially the discrepancy […]

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Come on, get happy

Back in the olden days, like 2015, I wrote a blog post almost every week. Then my life—my publishing life—became too chaotic to maintain that frequency. I was busy writing, editing, promoting, and releasing—wash, rinse, and repeat times seven—and blogging took a back seat. For the first time in a while, I don’t have any […]

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Happy book birthday to Bridal Girl!

I’m so happy to announce the release of BRIDAL GIRL today! BRIDAL GIRL is my eighth novel and although it’s the third in my Blogger Girl series, it can also stand alone. I am legitimately in love with this book and think it’s my funniest yet. I’m so attached to the characters after writing four […]

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Giveaway – Amazon Fire 8

AMAZON FIRE GIVEAWAY – 4/16-4/20 Hi everyone! I wanted to tell you about the giveaway I’m hosting on my Facebook author page to celebrate the release of BRIDAL GIRL on April 24th. Beginning Monday, April 16th, I will post a question on my author page relating to weddings. A different question will be asked every weekday through Friday, April 20th. Every answer on […]

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cakes for cookies giveaway

Greetings, With only a month until the big release of BRIDAL GIRL, I’m in a wedding state of mind. Do you remember your wedding cake? How it looked? What it tasted like? Whether your partner nice and gently fed you that first piece or playfully pushed a handful of the tasty goodness into your face? […]

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the good, the bad, and the “I’m not ugly.”

With two months of 2018 behind us, I thought it would be an appropriate time to update you on my year so far. I’ve dealt with a lot of changes lately, some of them good, some of them bad, and some of them bittersweet. The good. In the beginning of January, I flew to California […]

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Sharing is caring…and could earn you $75 in Amazon gift cards

Hi there, This post is different from my usual blogs because I’m not announcing a new book, revealing a cover, or sharing some personal anecdote about my life—stayed tuned for that post because it’s coming! Today, I’m asking a favor. I’m requesting your help spreading the love for my Blogger Girl romantic comedy series. Here’s the […]

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