Random facts about ME!

I’m in a very generous mood this evening, so I figured I would share with my readers.  I will not be sharing my paycheck, cookies or pieces of my favorite sushi roll, but I will share tidbits about me.  I’m sure you’d prefer the paycheck or maybe the sushi but get over it!  Here goes nothing:

It took me 3 road tests to get my driver’s license.  I was never comfortable behind the wheel but drove when necessary.  I blame it partially on my mom and sisters for freaking out the minute the “baby” in the family got behind the wheel, but maybe they just knew me well enough to predict I wouldn’t be a very good driver!  After years of living in a city with no car and various modes of public transpiration, I stopped driving for years and accidentally allowed my license to expire.  I dread moving out of NYC because, not only will I probably need to learn to drive again, I will need to take another (3) tests. 

I don’t own a coffee maker and am not sure I even know how to use one.  I am confident I’d figure it out.  sort of.

I am obsessed with my age.  Obsessed.  When I read the horoscope page in magazines with an example of a famous person born under every sign, I count how many of the famous people are older than me and how many are younger and am always relieved when more people are older.  I think it’s because while I go through the motions of being a grown-up, most of the time I still feel like a teenager. 

I sometimes have more fun going to dinner with my mom and her friends than standing in NYC bars screaming over too-loud music.

Every so often, I think I have too much fun in NYC bars screaming over too-loud music.  

Sometimes after one too many drinks, I come home, turn on the music channels on the television and dance around my apartment.

I have twirled my hair for the past 30-something years.  It is a life long habit that I will never break unless (God forbid) my hair falls out.

I died my hair blonde once.  More accurately, I had my entire head of naturally jet black hair highlighted blonde.  I looked awful but thought I was too “ordinary” looking as a brunette.  I now love my subtle blonde highlights, but I still feel ordinary sometimes.

I worry so much about my mom dying that I save every one of her voicemail messages so that I will have her voice on tape.  Totally morbid and (knock wood), my mom is very healthy.  Although an avid reader of my blog, she’s probably a bit freaked right now!  Sorry, mom. 

I drank so much beer in college that I got the spins almost every weekend and spent many mornings puking my brains out.  The thought of my nieces doing the same thing in a few years makes me sick, but I don’t regret a single second!  I also drank so much that by the time I graduated, I swear if you poked my cheek with a pin, beer would come pouring out. 

I don’t drink nearly as much now!!  I swear.  I still drink though.

One day, many years after college, I spotted a bitch from my class in high school running to catch a bus in Hoboken, New Jersey.  I muttered, “Miss is.  Miss it” and when the bus left, leaving her out of breath without a bus in sight, I silently cheered.

I cried hysterically during the movie “Monster” when Charlize Theron’s Aileen Wuornos was trying to make changes in her life and no one would give her a chance.  She then turned into a serial killer.  I called my mother afterward and thanked her for being a good mom and for making sure I got an education and became a *respected* member of society. 

I was equally hysterial at the end of “Marley & Me.”

I have serious doubts about my ability to work for anyone besides my current boss of 15 years.  When he retires, I’m so screwed.  Unless my books become so successful, I no longer need a “day” job (hint: buy my book!).

In addition to my socially acceptable taste in music, I have some seriously embarrassing songs downloaded on my Ipod, including the theme song to “Welcome Back Kotter”, “Greatest American Hero” and “Mary Tyler Moore” (and not just the cool Joan Jette version either) and Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits.  I also have songs I remember listening to in the back of my mom’s station wagon.  At the time, I wished she’d change the station from the “oldies” to WPLJ or Z100 but now, whenever I hear those songs, I’m brought instantly back in time and I love them.  These songs include, but are not limited to, Time Passages, Sharing the Night Together, On and On, Reminiscing and Summer Breeze. And, in the words of Stephen Bishop, I can go on and on, on and on, on and on..

I used to have an addiction to hand bags.  Now I have an addiction to hats. 

I was very aggressive as a child.  I used to bite people.  I even threw a stapler at a classmate once. My sister says I would have probably been on Ritalin if they had it back then.

Sometimes I still have the urge to throw things at people and bite them until they cry, but the urge generally passes.  

I had a memory like a steel trap but lately, I have trouble remembering names of new people I meet or characters on television shows. I think my brain is overloaded with too much other nonsense.  But until I forget my own name, I won’t worry too much.  My name is Meredith Gail Schorr!  

I love sleep so much that I wonder if I’d be a horrible mother.  Feed my child vs. sleep.  Change my child’s diaper vs. sleep.  Hmm, I just don’t know…

I am confident I am a good writer but I still fear that all good reviews of my book are people just being nice.  Maybe I’ll get over that once I have more published books under my belt, but I doubt it!

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Comments

  1. This cracked me up…so you! And I’ll have you know that ever since you told me that about your mom’s voicemails, I’ve been doing the same thing!

  2. Well, now we’re even for you telling me about stepping into a plane with your right foot! I have to purposely not look at the people walking on before me…

    Glad it cracked you up 🙂

  3. My favorite is when you willed the girl to miss the bus. I had no idea you freaking bit people!! Had I known, I don’t think I would have slept so soundly in college.

  4. AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Ohhh, I remember the blond. 🙂

  5. This cracked me up, Meredith! I love you “Silently Cheering” after the girl missed the bus!

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