For Better or Worse

A common characteristic supposedly shared by those born under the Capricorn astrological sign is that they do not like change. While I do not necessarily believe that everyone born within the same horoscope has the same general personality traits, I am a Capricorn and I abide by the cliche, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

For example, I don’t like when a colleague I like and am used to working with resigns from my company to be employed elsewhere, leaving me to forge a fresh relationship with someone else. I don’t like when a close friend moves across the country, thereby changing the dynamic of our relationship. I don’t like when my law firm changes health insurance, when a favorite author changes her writing style, when a television show breaks up my favorite couple to hook them up with other people, when my publisher makes me change the title of my book, when an appliance breaks and I need to get used to a new one. In a nutshell, if I’m in my groove, I do not see the need to shake things up.

That’s not to say that I do not like spontaneity. If a friend asks me for last-minute drinks, I’m cool with it. I’ve swiftly booked vacations based on a friend’s recommendation with little or no research of my own. I can (and do) make impulse purchases of expensive handbags and shoes. It’s not the introduction of new things that I shy away from; it’s the fear that the new won’t be as good as the old. Each time I finish a novel and it gets positive feedback, I worry that my readers won’t like my next book as much. I worry that a new man in my life won’t be as good to me as the one before. I worry that I won’t be able to figure out how to use my new laptop to do the things it took me ages to figure out on the old one.

The good news is that despite my stubborn fear and avoidance of change, I somehow always manage to assimilate, usually quickly. I often sell myself short in terms of what I can/cannot accomplish and I don’t always give others the credit they deserve for knowing when change is actually a good thing.

It was recently brought to my attention that a change had taken place with respect to my publisher— a shift in my team that will affect my individual writing/marketing/publishing process from what it has been for almost a year. Funny, because I had just been thanking my lucky stars that my team was so in sync and I predicted how smoothly the production of my fourth novel would be. Perhaps I should have knocked wood or something. I was upset about the change but before I had barely 24 hours to wallow, my publisher got in touch with me and made it clear that they want me to be happy and will be working with me to ensure that all of my needs are met. I was grateful for the swift reassurance and personal attention, and I am going to trust that they know what they are doing. I will also keep the faith that I can embrace these changes like the professional I am. Change can be scary and admittedly,  I still don’t like it very much when I’m happy with the status quo. But “change” doesn’t have to mean better or worse—it could just mean “different.”

Just between us, I’m hoping for better :).