Age is Just a Number Series: Author Hilary Grossman talks turning 25

Welcome Hilary Grossman, author of Dangled Carat, and my friend and fellow Booktrope author to my blog. Hilary compares how she imagined she would feel turning twenty-five with the reality of her feelings on that day. (PS: Happy Birthday, Hilary!!)
It all started in September.
I wasn’t able to put my finger on what was happening at first.  All I knew was that something simply wasn’t right.  I was unhappy.  I was scared.  I was frustrated.  And slowly but surely a feeling of dread began to wash over me.  With every very passing day the feeling got stronger, encompassing every aspect of my life.
In early November I left work early. I  wasn’t feeling well. I had chest pains. I couldn’t catch my breath.  My mom picked me up at the train station and drove me to my doctor.    He didn’t react the way that I thought he would. He gave me a quick exam.  Rather than confirm that I was dying from a heart attack, he simply said I was having a panic attack.
He helped me calm down.  My heart rate returned to normal and I was able to breath easily once more.  But I had to admit to myself and my mother what was causing me anxiety. And by this time I already knew.
November 10th was right around the corner.  My birthday.  I was turning twenty-five and I was dreading the day.  How can I be twenty-five and feel the way that I did?
Hilary at twenty-five

Hilary at twenty-five

Thanks to all the wonderful books and movies out there I had definite ideas of what twenty-five should feel like, and my life was nothing of the sort.  Forget about not having a fairytale existence there was nothing about my life I was happy about!
I spent the last few years studying for and passing the CPA exam. Why I kept wondering? I hated my all consuming job.  I was always on the road with no control of my schedule. I worked ridiculous hours. I was bored out of my mind half the time and the other time I was walking on eggshells because my boss was the modern day version of Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I never knew what to expect when I showed up for work.  As a result, stomach would constantly be in knots.  I used to wake up every morning and count down the number of days I had until I either retired or died.  What happy mornings those were!
Of course I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time either.  I was okay with that (or I told myself).  What I wasn’t okay with was I had no social life. None, zero, zip!  All I did was work.  Most of the year I worked for the CPA firm 6 days a week. But I also continued to wait tables nights and weekends.  And if there was a lull in that excitement,  I added the occasional babysitting gig into the mix.  #partytime
This was not what twenty-five was supposed to feel like.  Was it?
I started to express my feelings to others. I learned there was a term for what I was going through – a quarter life crisis.  Knowing I wasn’t alone, I started feeling slightly better.  And after the dreaded birthday passed I decided to make some changes in my life.
I cut back on waitress shifts. I started to hang out with friends.  I started to date. I allowed fun back into my life. And when I was presented with an opportunity to shift my career path I jumped at the chance.  Slowly but surely I found happiness.
I am turning forty-one on November 10th. I wish I could go back and tell my twenty-four year old self that everything will be okay. That the sacrifices that were made then would allow for much successes and joy later.  But I can’t. And even if I could, I know that I wouldn’t listen…
Hilary in present day

Hilary in present day

Links:
Twitter @feelingbeachie
Dangled Carat

 

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Kicking off the Age is Just a Number blog series

One thing all human beings have in common is the aging process, although some of us are more fortunate than others when it comes to how far the process takes us.

As much as most of us hope to live a long, happy, healthy life, it is common to struggle with getting older and the effect it has on so many aspects of our lives, from our outward appearance, to our health, to our physical stamina, to what milestones we are expected to have crossed, to the dreams we hope to make reality, and to our individual mortality. Some of us struggle with turning specific ages. My most difficult to date was turning forty and I wrote a post about it for the Women’s Fiction Writers blog. My post ties into my upcoming novel, How Do You Know?, which is about my main character’s struggles with her impending fortieth birthday as a single, never-been-married woman.

In anticipation of the release of the novel on December 2nd, I decided to host a series of blogs on aging, and I have some fabulous authors and bloggers lined up to share their feelings with respect to turning certain ages, including twenty-five, thirty, thirty-one, forty, fifty, and sixty. The Age is Just a Number series will begin in early November, but I have linked to my own post below on turning forty for the kick-off. Please give it a read.

http://womensfictionwriters.wordpress.com/2014/10/16/guest-post-an-author-fearing-forty-by-meredith-schorr/

Please stay tuned for the wonderful and often humorous posts to follow and check out the Goodreads page for How Do You Know?

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23365751-how-do-you-know?ac=1

Finally, I wanted to share some pictures from my book signing in Port Washington this weekend at the Dolphin Bookstore and Cafe, along with two other Booktrope authors, Hilary Grossman (Dangled Carat) and Jennifer Gracen (Seasons of Love Series). We had a blast!

booksigning4booksigning2booksigning7booksigning6

 

 

 

 

COMING SOON:

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

What if you were approaching the end of your thirties and all of the life milestones you took for granted in your youth suddenly seemed out of reach?

On the eve of her thirty-ninth birthday, Maggie Piper doesn’t look, act, or feel much different than she did at twenty-nine, but with her fortieth birthday speeding toward her like a freight train, she wonders if she should. The fear of a slowing metabolism, wrinkling of her skin, and the ticking of her biological clock leaves Maggie torn between a desire to settle down like most of her similarly-aged peers and concern that all is not perfect in her existing relationship. When a spontaneous request for a temporary “break” from her live-in boyfriend results in a “break-up,” Maggie finds herself single once again and only twelve months from the big 4.0. In the profound yet bumpy year that follows, Maggie will learn, sometimes painfully, that life doesn’t always happen on a schedule, there are no deadlines in love, and age really is just a number.

Meredith Schorr, best-selling author of light women’s fiction, digs deep in her newest novel and raises the age old issue of the ‘proverbial clock’ that haunts many women, in a way that is refreshing and sassy no matter your age or relationship status.