1. So that a “Meredith Schorr” search on Google will disclose more results, and my membership in the Buffy The Vampire Slayer fan Meetup group will get pushed towards the end.
2. To ‘out’ an ex-boyfriend’s dirty secrets via a character inspired by him. (even if he’ll never read the book or admit his dirty little secrets).
3. To obtain closure and give my heroine the happy ending I didn’t get (even if that particular happy ending is not what I even want any more).
4. To live vicariously through my heroine as she sleeps around.
5. To cast the movie that will undoubtedly be inspired by the book.
6. To find out who my real friends are. You know, the ones who buy the book the day it comes out and actually read it.
7. To discover all the edits I want to make after the book is already published.
8. To experience an overwhelming feeling of pride when I hold my book in my arms for the first time and realize, “Holy crap, I wrote a fucking book. And it’s published.” (Followed by the realization, “Holy shit, people are going to read it!!!!!”)
9. To make lots of money – hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
10. Because I’d sooner give up ice cream than writing. And I’m not even lactose intolerant.